Captain America
The pajama ensemble I am wearing tonight is completely red and white and blue—a complete accident, believe it or not. But it reminds me of the time I dressed up as Captain American in a completely misguided attempt to impress Beautiful Eric. “Hey look, Eric, I’m Captain America! ohpleaselovemewhywon’tyou love me.”
Say what you will about how I woo my victims—excuse me—lovers, but of all the Smithies he made out with the night we played spin the bottle, he said I was the best kisser. So take that, people with paid employment. I may just be a lowly unpaid intern, but at least I am a Beautiful Eric approved maker-outer.
Sheesh.
